Where Do I Begin?

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. There was a divergence somewhere.

It was supposed to be better… didn’t you believe it was going to be better? I did.

We were going to have bases on the moon… world peace, a twenty hour work week. The first two are a wash, and I’ll bet some of you wish you had 20 hours a week, those that have any at all seem to work 50. But I had a strange dream as a child in 1970. It was May 2034, and everything looked basically the same, and there were still pick-up trucks. Everything was recognizable. It disturbed me, but it’s still 24 years away.

I’ve had a profound sense of disconnect that has grown like an August weather bomb just on the other side of that hill over the last two decades--- this was all supposed to be different. But I feel the change coming now, the black clouds are moving in. What was supposed to be now begins to interpose itself upon what is. It’s been held back for a long time. And it’s angry.

‘Different’ has almost arrived.

I was conceived here, grew up here, and in my early adulthood, visited from time to time. And now I begin, near the end. I’m back, and I’ve come home to die.

Death is transformation, and in what form and what time you or I have left has not been revealed, so I myself wait calmly and amuse myself. But the disease I have is terminal, and I know it, and feel it. Some of you reading this have it too, and are now only gradually realizing it.

Sorry.

It has many names, but I prefer to call it anti-chance.

Tough Luck.

I’ve left this blog fallow for several months now, waiting for the moment, and finally it’s time.

Welcome to my world, and to my valley. Adversity makes strange bedfellows, but I’ll be gentle. I’ll try to enlighten and amuse with my bag of tricks. It’s going to be a long night.

And when morning comes, whether difference means some sort of transformation into a more exalted state is better left for hindsight. You’ll forgive me if I sound pessimistic, but this way if the world changes for the better I’ll be pleasantly surprised, and if it slides down the toilet I’ll be right.

Win-win.